Fear of public speaking -- it's more widespread than we suspect. My daughter, in fact, was an A student in college whose last required class was public speaking. She was so anxious about facing an audience she called me to say, "I may have to drop out of college; I just can't do this dad. Public speaking makes me physically ill."
On the first day of class I got into a class of kids who all appeared sane and public speaking anxiety free. I wished I had their confidence. As my luck would have it I was summoned to the front of the class to introduce myself to the class. I took a deep breath of confidence and went to the front of the class. Standing at the front of the class I felt fairly normal, but as soon as I opened my mouth that breath of confidence slipped right out.
I had to speak for at least sixty seconds, but every second felt like a minute. Time seemed to slow down as my normally sexy voice came out in a quivering squeak! I searched my audience faces for any evidence that would indicate what they were thinking about me. How could I, great conqueror of all, be reduced to a pipsqueak in a mere moment?!Definition of pipsqueak - A person considered to be insignificant.Luckily enough the basic facts that were required for this mini introduction speech was ingrown knowledge. Just when I thought it was all over the teacher asked me to tell the class something interesting about myself. All of a sudden with cheeks quivering, butt shaking, and eyes widened by fear I became the most boring person in the class. I just could not remember anything!
As I headed back to my seat I dared not look at any faces. I kept my eyes on my seat of solace as if it were an endearing lover.Because of reports from my friends I know for a fact that I'm one of the most retarded Public Speaking Anxiety Sufferers.And it had been a long time since I had been in a public speaking situation it was the most uncomfortable moment I had experienced in a long while.As if the anxiety itself weren't bad enough, after an embarrassing moment like that I would then suffer though the emotional pain afterward. To present myself like that to an audience completely misrepresented my identity: That wasn't me up there!As I sat in my seat of solace I considered what would be the lifelong impact of inflicting these emotional wounds on my psyche for the rest of the semester. This was the moment that changed everything.
Jerry Seinfeld once said:"According to most studies, people's number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Death is number two. Does that sound right? This means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you're better off in the casket than doing the eulogy."Mark Twain said this:"There are only two types of public speakers in the world. 1. Those who are nervous and 2. Those who are liars."A very useful acronym to help you put fear in a different perspective is: FEAR is: False - Evidence - Appearing- Real Keep in mind that feelings are not facts. Check the facts before you act (like running away and hiding) on your feelings.
One way to overcome your fear is to use an activity to break down your fear into controllable components. It's simple to do and it really works!Here is an easy exercise you can do if you, like so many others, have a fear of speaking.Tell yourself exactly what you are afraid of."I am frightened to speak in front of a large group."
What helped me shake my nervousness was a statement made by Dale Carnegie to the effect that, in the old days, when messages were delivered by telegrams, people who received the telegram were far more interested in the MESSAGE than they were the guy who delivered it. In other words, get your mind off yourself and onto your message, he indicated, and you will see giving a speech isn't about you.Speaking about you, however, I can tell you that as your audience we want you to succeed. Those frightfully embarrassing moments when you're shaking, your face is flushed, you don't know what to do with your hands, you're fidgeting, we are having a difficult time watching you suffer. You have, in effect, distracted us from what you have to say and made the speech more about yourself, and that always makes an audience feel uneasy.
On most occasions, it has been found that people suffering from public speaking phobias suffer from a deep fear of failure, or 'looking like a fool' in front of others. As a result of this constant, recurring terror, they are often left speechless or horribly stuttering or stammering. What follows is a cycle of events. The more they stutter or stammer or draw a blank, the more daunted they feel and the further they goof up. This continues until the speaker completely breaks out into a panic attack or hurriedly rescues himself from the agony, by ending his speech.
The body of your speech,you organize your examples, quotes, facts, and statistics toward the response you desire. The body is where you present your points and proofs, making sure they all connect and move forward and connect to your concluding remarks.The conclusion of your speech is, I believe, one of its more strategic elements. If well-handled it will be remembered and you will leave your audience with a lasting impression.
The conclusion of your speech is not synonymous with the fact you've stopped talking. Here it's your job to wrap up and sell your presentation with a conclusion like an archer who sends the arrow directly into the center of the target he or she is aiming at, that center being your audience's interests.I don't know who first said it but I'm sure my former college speech teacher read this somewhere before imparting its wisdom to his freshman public speaking class and the statement goes like this:Public speakers are known by their entrances and exits!
On the first day of class I got into a class of kids who all appeared sane and public speaking anxiety free. I wished I had their confidence. As my luck would have it I was summoned to the front of the class to introduce myself to the class. I took a deep breath of confidence and went to the front of the class. Standing at the front of the class I felt fairly normal, but as soon as I opened my mouth that breath of confidence slipped right out.
I had to speak for at least sixty seconds, but every second felt like a minute. Time seemed to slow down as my normally sexy voice came out in a quivering squeak! I searched my audience faces for any evidence that would indicate what they were thinking about me. How could I, great conqueror of all, be reduced to a pipsqueak in a mere moment?!Definition of pipsqueak - A person considered to be insignificant.Luckily enough the basic facts that were required for this mini introduction speech was ingrown knowledge. Just when I thought it was all over the teacher asked me to tell the class something interesting about myself. All of a sudden with cheeks quivering, butt shaking, and eyes widened by fear I became the most boring person in the class. I just could not remember anything!
As I headed back to my seat I dared not look at any faces. I kept my eyes on my seat of solace as if it were an endearing lover.Because of reports from my friends I know for a fact that I'm one of the most retarded Public Speaking Anxiety Sufferers.And it had been a long time since I had been in a public speaking situation it was the most uncomfortable moment I had experienced in a long while.As if the anxiety itself weren't bad enough, after an embarrassing moment like that I would then suffer though the emotional pain afterward. To present myself like that to an audience completely misrepresented my identity: That wasn't me up there!As I sat in my seat of solace I considered what would be the lifelong impact of inflicting these emotional wounds on my psyche for the rest of the semester. This was the moment that changed everything.
Jerry Seinfeld once said:"According to most studies, people's number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Death is number two. Does that sound right? This means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you're better off in the casket than doing the eulogy."Mark Twain said this:"There are only two types of public speakers in the world. 1. Those who are nervous and 2. Those who are liars."A very useful acronym to help you put fear in a different perspective is: FEAR is: False - Evidence - Appearing- Real Keep in mind that feelings are not facts. Check the facts before you act (like running away and hiding) on your feelings.
One way to overcome your fear is to use an activity to break down your fear into controllable components. It's simple to do and it really works!Here is an easy exercise you can do if you, like so many others, have a fear of speaking.Tell yourself exactly what you are afraid of."I am frightened to speak in front of a large group."
What helped me shake my nervousness was a statement made by Dale Carnegie to the effect that, in the old days, when messages were delivered by telegrams, people who received the telegram were far more interested in the MESSAGE than they were the guy who delivered it. In other words, get your mind off yourself and onto your message, he indicated, and you will see giving a speech isn't about you.Speaking about you, however, I can tell you that as your audience we want you to succeed. Those frightfully embarrassing moments when you're shaking, your face is flushed, you don't know what to do with your hands, you're fidgeting, we are having a difficult time watching you suffer. You have, in effect, distracted us from what you have to say and made the speech more about yourself, and that always makes an audience feel uneasy.
On most occasions, it has been found that people suffering from public speaking phobias suffer from a deep fear of failure, or 'looking like a fool' in front of others. As a result of this constant, recurring terror, they are often left speechless or horribly stuttering or stammering. What follows is a cycle of events. The more they stutter or stammer or draw a blank, the more daunted they feel and the further they goof up. This continues until the speaker completely breaks out into a panic attack or hurriedly rescues himself from the agony, by ending his speech.
The body of your speech,you organize your examples, quotes, facts, and statistics toward the response you desire. The body is where you present your points and proofs, making sure they all connect and move forward and connect to your concluding remarks.The conclusion of your speech is, I believe, one of its more strategic elements. If well-handled it will be remembered and you will leave your audience with a lasting impression.
The conclusion of your speech is not synonymous with the fact you've stopped talking. Here it's your job to wrap up and sell your presentation with a conclusion like an archer who sends the arrow directly into the center of the target he or she is aiming at, that center being your audience's interests.I don't know who first said it but I'm sure my former college speech teacher read this somewhere before imparting its wisdom to his freshman public speaking class and the statement goes like this:Public speakers are known by their entrances and exits!
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